At the age of twelve I confessed Christ and was baptized. I wish I could say...'from that day forward I grew in Christ and lived for Him'. Sadly, that was not the case. Shortly after my confession I began to be concerned about my physical image, my weight, and getting my way. I rebelled against my parents yo-yoing me back and forth between their homes. At eighteen, sexual sin entered the picture...all the while I was professing Christ. I attended a Christian college, attended Church (somewhat), and had a nice job, but in hindsight I knew that meant nothing. Where was my fruit? Where was my heart? As I entered and aged through my twenties I continued to slowly decline, sinking deeper into the world. Panic attacks began to plague me often. I was prescribed medication to deal with all of my feelings and problems. Anorexia took hold in spurts and bulimic patterns began to emerge. By the time I was 32, I was at the point of death and in a pit of sinfulness. God graciously showed me through the conviction of my heart and the knowledge of His Word that I was not saved. I counseled with my pastor and accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. Afterwards, after entering treatment centers which only dealt with my behaviors and not my heart, God lead me to The Father's Ranch. Here God has taught me to deal with my sin and learn what it means to seek Him and rely upon Him for my needs. The holes that my sin created are now being filled with Christ. Today, by God's Grace, He allows me to live without any medication; He allows me freedom from the sin of eating disorders; and He has taken care of my financial needs far beyond what my feeble prayers have asked. He has helped me in restoring relationships with my family, and has helped me have the kind of relationships a Christian woman should have. It is a moment by moment surrender of self to Christ. Nothing good is done by me, but through me by Christ. I have far to go, but I know that I am His and that seeking His Kingdom and His Righteousness is certainly the right path.

---Belinda